PHunkdafied..

See, the thing about me is that when my mind wanders, it wanders FAR.. very FAR.. i think about things that could've been, should've been and would've been if ONLY i had had my mind RIGHT but, I was LEFT at that point in time.. Now. don't get it twisted, if it wasn't for me straying off the beaten path i wouldn't be on the path that i'm on today.. Not once have I taken for granted the places GOD has put me, nor have I taken for granted the people placed on my path.. I am truly thankful for ALL that he has allowed me to experience GOOD and BAD because it has opened my eyes.. I see what others are BLIND to, what others overlook, what others refuse to OCULIZE.. I see and acknowledge these things because I now have the experience and the PATIENCE to notice the beauty in ALL things.. Now back to the "PHunkdafied" moniker, NO, i'm not jockin' Da Brat or any other people you would assume i'm immulating.. I LOVE words and how they can and WILL be misconstrued.. As far as the "PH" goes, I use this to represent my BALANCE in LIFE.. (i.e. the PH scale) I look at it like this, MY POSITIVES are Bases and MY NEGATIVES are ACIDS, i try to stay NEUTRAL and BALANCED, simple as that.. This environment constantly changes the Litmus paper otherwise known as my LIFE.. I'm just gonna leave it at that.. Let's just say that my growth as a man, and more so as a BLACK MAN has left me STRONGER, WISER, and BATTLE READY for the WAR that has yet to take place.. I am ready though, I have studied, I have FAITH beyond measurement and I will not be BROKEN because my HEART is in the right place.. Now, as far as the obstacles placed in front of me, they are merely TEST, but like I said, i'm ready.. Ready for any and everything, but not overlooking anything because defeat lies in the shallows and depths.. I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED because I no longer know what defeat is because I look at every situation as a positive.. Negative thoughts no longer cloud my mind, nor do they control my actions.. It's funny looking from the outside in and even from the inside out.. People can talk about me like a dog, slander my name, and say "I ain't SHIT" but that don't make me none.. I just laugh it off and think to myself, "I'm not here to please anybody but my daughter" and bring HONOR to my family name.. POINT BLANK PERIOD..

HAITI or is it HATE(E)

First off, i just want to ask GOD for his grace and mercy, i also want to thank him for the life given and at the same time i have to be mindful of the lives taken in this horrendous tragedy in the country of Haiti. Now I'm trying not to be overly religious or political in this write-up, but some things are just utterly obvious and obscene at the same time. The earthquake that happened a few days ago on the island of Hispanola was something that will be written down in history for aeons. Not just in American history books, not just Haitian history books, but every type of historical account should record this event and REMEMBER FOREVER. I say this because it was an event that has to do with every single person that was able to see this act of nature. I don't have to tell you what happened or post pictures because neither would do justice. As Americans, not Black Americans, not White Americans, not Haitian Americans but Americans, we have showed an overflow of support for these people that we have never seen, never met, and would not have known existed unless this tragedy would've happened. This alone is worthy of praise. To all those that have given, I THANK YOU, to those who didn't, I STILL THANK YOU, I'm not here to judge or here to tell you that you should, some aren't able and some have their own views on this tragedy. I personally haven't said much in lew of me having two ears and one mouth. I shall listen to others views and thoughts before i express mine. Not that mine matter, but I do have and am entitled too, my OPINION. For the most part its been nothing but support from the masses. On the other hand, there has been some negativity and opposition to the giving towards the relief of the people of Haiti. Some of the things I've heard have hurt me, but what can i say, that's American Insensitivity for you. In this age of so called EQUALITY, the HATE monster still rears its ugly face in the name of satan (no capitalization because he isn't worth the honor and respect). Even though these people of Haiti aren't as fortunate as some, mostly all of us here in the states, they are still HUMANS, they breathe the same air we breathe, walk the same way we walk, and think the same way we think. When i say they think the same way we think, i mean this, SURVIVE, we must SURVIVE by any means necessary. At this point in time there is somebody underneath a pile of concrete trying to SURVIVE. There is a child starving for food, trying to SURVIVE. There is a man who lost his child, all he is trying to do is SURVIVE. There is a mother who will never see her son again because a building crushed him and he lays lifeless in the middle of the street with a blanket over him and the flies are hovering over him as he rots, remember that mother is just trying to SURVIVE because that same son she lost was the one who went to work everyday to buy food for her. This is way bigger than just a natural disaster, this event has changed the lives of more than the 3,000,000 plus inhabitants of Haiti. This is WORLDWIDE my people. There is no need to say the things that some have said. All I can do is ask for COMPASSION from all of my friends and other HUMANS. I honestly don't think we have ever seen as much HATE as we have since SLAVERY, now this is another topic so let me get back on track. These people of Haiti need HELP right now, more than ever, not people telling them that we can't and won't help them because of their own political beliefs. We have got be be less selfish when it comes to events like this. Take this for instance, think about the city you are in right now, what would you do if all of a sudden everything collapsed, everything went black, the weight of the world was pressed against your chest? When you woke up there was a bloody body next to you with eyes open but no movement. What if you were'nt able to move your legs because they were gone? What if you saw your mother crying, and in pain and you couldn't do anything about it? What would you do if you were trapped for days and your family was with you, the day help came to get y'all, a few of your family members didn't have the STRENGTH to hold on, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? What would you do if you were lucky enough to escape and you saw dead bodies lining the street, chaos and panic? These people might not have had much before the earthquake, but now, they have EVEN LESS and have lost EVEN MORE. Countless lives are gone and will never be brought back. More lives will be lost because they lack the things we have and take for granted, such as fire departments, and sufficient hospitals and medicine to assist the infirmed. We as AMERICANS should be doing as much as possible to HELP these people. Place race and social class to the side for the time being, be and see the HUMAN in these people that have been hurt and displaced. Give STRENGTH to the ones who are weak right now. NEVER FORGET that this could have happened anywhere and if it would've happened on our soil and we weren't able to help ourselves, best believe YOU WOULD BE PLEADING FOR HELP TOO. Remember you are no better than ANY HUMAN on this earth, no matter how much money you have or how big your house is. Remember, all it takes is a few minutes and all of those secular things can be taken from you, then where would you be? Remember to THANK GOD for what you do have and what your are able to SHARE and GIVE, that's what really matters. THANK GOD, SEEK GOD, SEE GOD and BE GRATEFUL and COMPASSIONATE because the days are drawing short my people, know that it can all be GONE and there is nothing you can do about it but try to SURVIVE. Save HAITI and let us be GREAT TOGETHER...

FLAT "SOLES"

Ever since my first breath, I've been blessed... blessed with the opportunity to see new things, to chase new dreams and to touchdown on the scene... Now since my first breath, humph, this world has brought me so much stress and I've seen so much death... You can say its weighed me down like a bulletproof vest, even stumping me like problem 37 on a trigonometry test, but that wont stop me from making my next step... Placing my right foot in front the left, calculating my next step. Waking up seeking only to be the best, now i don't even trip on that same stress. I've learned that everyday is a new day, it's your job to make a new way with your FLAT SOLES... Press that pavement, keep making them payments, walk that block... that block of LIFE. in your FLAT SOLES... Just don't let it flatten your SOUL or be the reason why you grow old... Wear the SOLES, don't let the SOULS wear you (down)... All the things that I've seen in my short life, it'd make an old gray man cry tears at night, but i don't let it penetrate my mind, or my grind, i won't even let it consume my time... i just keep pressing my FLAT SOLES onwards towards my goals. I once heard that "life is like a box of chocolates" well, I disagree, see to me... Life ain't like a box of chocolates, its more like a box of sprockets, make sure you put your life together first, so you can take off like a rocket. Keep a few options open and place them in your back pocket... Plug up and stay charged like you live in a socket, stay out them streets unless you prepared to end up on a docket... From what i have observed, everybody wants to be a "made man" but what exactly have you made, man? How many nights have you been on your knees crying and prayed fam? Like them hustler's in the trap say, "Somethin gotta shake man." Don't resort to moving them grams, unless you can handle hearing them cell door's slam, and honestly, I don't think u can. Just keep pressing your FLAT SOLES until you find your place, and when you do, make sure you can fill that space, because you can't afford to let that hole gape... Press your FLAT SOLES my brothers and sisters, fore you see what is at stake, it ain't always about being the richest man who eats the biggest steak, it's sometimes about sharing what's on your plate and learning from your mistakes also balancing the choices that you make... Money is cool and all, but I'm not here to make a profit, I'm just here to place your mind on a different topic... Like that plasma screen, you might not want to watch it, because it's only slowing up your progress. Naw, I'm not like Moses, this here is no prophecy because it ain't nothing that can stop thee... Keep pressing your FLAT SOLES in pursuit of your goals, start running to them like Usain Bolt... Something like an oppressed man behind the gun line boss, or even like a dreaded man, cut those locks off and press your FLAT SOLES... Press them 'til your heels touch the concrete and your joints become weak, even then keep pressing, never stop stepping, never stop repping... Which one of us will keep pressing on and step up to claim the throne? It might have to be me, because so many of us are acting like drones and clones, mechanical and scientific concoctions, only taking other people's options... Some of our soul's have become flat, like an unattended soda, naw man, we can't have that... Remember you're leaving your imprint... Just keep pressing your FLAT SOLES, please, for the sake of me, we, and thee, the one's to follow your FLAT SOLES...

Blind MAN... Seeing MAN...

You don't know what the BLIND MAN SEES... You don't know what the BLIND MAN will SEIZE... You don't know when a BLIND MAN will CEASE... You don't even know what a SEEING MAN is blind to or what will blind the SEEING MAN... You also don't know what will SEIZE that same SEEING MAN or what that SEEING MAN will SEIZE... One day that SEEING MAN will CEASE to SEIZE what he SEES, but that BLIND MAN, i bet he will never CEASE to SEIZE the opportunity to SEE and SEIZE... Sometimes the SEEING MAN wishes he had not been able to SEE... Sometimes that same SEEING MAN, wishes he could CEASE what he SEES... At other times the BLIND MAN wishes he was able to SEE the light and SEIZE his path and CEASE his search for sight... When a SEEING MAN CEASES to SEE what he SEIZES he then becomes a BLIND MAN, and when a BLIND MAN CEASES to SEE that what he SEIZES is attainable, he then turns into a SEEING MAN... When these two men SEE that what they SEIZE is out of their grasp, will they CEASE, or will they stretch even further to SEIZE what it is that they SEE, attainable or not? I know that the SEEING MAN will CEASE to SEIZE certain things and cherish other things if he had the sight of a BLIND MAN... I also think that the BLIND MAN would SEIZE all the things that he could SEE if he had the sight of a SEEING MAN... The thought process a BLIND MAN possesses would CEASE if he saw all the things not seen in previous days of life... on the flipside, the thought processes possessed by the SEEING MAN would be to SEIZE sight if he was forced to SEE darkness, do you think he would CEASE to live the same life as in previous days, or do u think that SEEING MAN would SEE that life would be different now that his sight has been CEASED? WOULD YOU BE THE BLIND MAN OR THE SEEING MAN? THINK ABOUT IT...

Somtimes

Sometimes... just sometimes... i wish things were how they used to be... free from the stress, free from the hatred, free from the vices of today's harsh reality. Sometimes i wish i had only good times, but then again, the bad times have made me stronger. stronger than what i once was. Sometimes i lay in complete darkness and search for THE LIGHT... Sometimes i stand in the light and wish i had complete darkness.

LACE...

The thoughts that brace my mind with such an unyielding grip.. are the same thoughts that she places around her hips, after that long, hot shower, even after i have devoured her, not physically, but with my mind, over time, after sips and sips of fine wine, only then, shall i dine... Eating from her mental plate, falling endlessly into HER SPACE... She has me LACED... Like the LACE that caresses each and every one of those crevices... im amazed yet intrigued at how effortlessly she makes my mind seek refuge, refuge from the long days work, refuge from all life's stresses, seeking refuge from the lust that makes her give me all her yes's... No no's, because when im with her, ANYTHING GOES... and keeps going and going, these functions, are not even battery operated, got damn, if only i could taste it, not a drop would be wasted... no clean up necessary... But for right now, only her LACE is showing, our motion is at its own pace, and this attraction, its growing, beyond my control, maybe eventually it will release my SOUL... Right now, all i want to do is just relax and kick back, her body is my instrument, something like an alto Sax.. In this english language, no dictionary or thesaurus hold the exact adjectives or verbs to describe all of miss lady's curves.. almost perfection, beauty in all aspects, clearly its not even about the sex... All i notice is how she slowly slips the LACE down each appendage, over the left heel, then the right heel.. As the LACE hits the floor, i can see myself wanting nothing more.. Nothing more than the sight of her finally in the bare... Shaded by the night, but dimly lit by the candlelight... i reach out for her, grab a handful, i feel the smoothness of her skin, still nothing sexual, just enjoying one of my five senses... And the next sense, is smell, she smells like a WOMAN, the woman, my woman.. The woman of my dreams, of my conscience, of my awakening, she smells better than any perfume, and body spray, she smells like mahogany brown... beauty in every form, for her, I'M DOWN, on my knees, ready to tease, ready to please, hands around her, ready to squeeze... Amazed at how the things i do, can affect our groove.. She has me LACED...

SHE... HER... FEMININE... WOMAN...

I saw a quote the other day, it opened my eyes a bit more than what they have already been opened.. and it read... "She was created from the rib of man, not from the head to be above man, or from the feet, to be under man, but from his SIDE, to be by his SIDE, as an EQUAL" ... Now if that doesn't make you ponder things a bit more, may i ask, what does make your brain tick? Somewhere along the way we lost sight of the fact that SHE, HER, FEMININE, WOMAN was created for us to cherish and LOVE as our EQUAL and not as our SERVANT... The women I grew up seeing, had pride and an unmatched level of class and undeniable strength... Not saying that the women of today don't have the same qualities, but the amount of women that hold these such qualities has greatly diminished in the years since our EGO's stepped on the scene... Maybe that might be due to the fact that so many of our "men" have treated them as toys or flings or things of that nature and most importantly haven't been present in the birth, raising, and rearing of these BEAUTIFUL girls... Some of our men resort to cutting-down, demeaning, belittling, physically, mentally and almost most importantly emotionally wearing down our women until they are on their knees in tears of hurt and pain. These tactics have been accepted in today's society by not only the men but also by the women... We have got to change this mentality that our women have to be subservient and under our rule. These same women that we bring so much pain and stress to, give birth to us men, they feed us men, they nurture us men, they STAND BEHIND us men even when we want to give up THEY are there for us... SHE, HER, FEMININE, WOMAN has contributed greatly to the success of us as men, not only BLACK men but ALL MAN... One of my favorite rappers of all time, TUPAC SHAKUR said in his song "Keep Ya Head Up" , "I KNOW THEY LIKE TO BEAT YOU DOWN ALOT, AND WHEN YOU COME AROUND THE BLOCK BROTHAS CLOWN ALOT, BUT PLEASE DON'T CRY, DRY YOUR EYES, NEVER LET UP, FORGIVE BUT DON'T FORGET, GIRL KEEP YA HEAD, AND WHEN HE TELLS YOU, YOU AIN'T NOTHING DON'T BELIEVE HIM, AND IF HE CANT LEARN TO LOVE YOU, YOU SHOULD LEAVE HIM" Those words right there speak volumes to me.. Women, you can't let anything deter you from what you want in life especially any unsupportive man that only says he loves you while laying horizontal with you... Let me proceed to another set of his lyrics from that same song... "AND SINCE WE ALL CAME FROM A WOMAN, GOT OUR NAME FROM A WOMAN, AND OUR GAME FROM A WOMAN, I WONDER WHY WE TAKE FROM OUR WOMEN, WHY WE RAPE OUR WOMEN, DO WE HATE OUR WOMEN? I THINK ITS TIME WE KILL FOR OUR WOMEN, TIME TO HEAL OUR WOMEN, BE REAL TO WOMEN, AND IF WE DON'T, WE'LL HAVE A RACE OF BABIES THAT, WILL HATE THE LADIES, THAT MAKE THE BABIES, AND SINCE A MAN CAN'T MAKE ONE, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL A WOMAN WHEN AND WHERE TO CREATE ONE... SO WILL THE REAL MEN GET UP? I KNOW YOU FED UP LADIES, BUT KEEP YA HEAD UP... The first time i heard this verse as a shorty, it hit me like a sack of bricks... There is nothing more important than SHE, HER, FEMININE, WOMAN. These women have endured the same amount of stress and hardship, if not MORE than us men... Therefore, i think they deserve all the praise plus some... We have fallen off the bandwagon which built us.. its not to late for us to catch back up to this bandwagon, put some new wooden wheels on it and keep rolling of into the sunset.. Although this time the wheels need to be SUPPORT based and be STRONGER than before... it all starts with respecting SHE, HER, FEMININE, WOMAN. All of us have mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, we need to start thinking from their point of view... Would you want any man disrespecting any of the WOMEN in your life? I know I don't and won't accept that from anybody, no matter if its my father or my best friend.. So why are you any different? Things can change if we put forth that effort... Let's stop the with BITCH's, and HOE's and SLUT's and BREEZY's and things of that nature.. It may not seem harmful but it is.. These very words become en grained in our minds and our repertoire of words, that's when it becomes second nature.. I know deep down inside, everybody feels this way, its just a matter of digging deep enough to want to make that change, not only for self, but for SHE, HER, FEMININE, WOMAN... Thank YOU for your eyes...